2020欧洲杯体育足彩外围appMy girlfriend’s caustic comments about my cooking have got me thinking twice about our relationship
For Valentine’s Day I cooked my girlfriend what I thought was a really special dinner: a tagine from Ottolenghi and a lemon tart, whose recipe I got from my mother. Unfortunately she didn’t appreciate it, making jokes about “stew” and “dog food” that she obviously found hilarious, and leaving half of it on her plate. We don’t have much money and I don’t get to cook for her often (we are both living with our parents, but we’ve talked about moving in together).
I’m kicking myself that my romantic gambit didn’t pay off. But I also feel like I’ve seen a really nasty side to her and I’m not now sure I want us to move in together even if and when we can. Is this a trivial reason to break up with somebody?
Julian, via email
Oh, Julian! Read the writing on the wall! You should be grateful for this early warning of her inner nature. She sounds like something out of a novel – and not one of the pleasanter characters, either.
Look. On Valentine’s Day, we make an effort, don’t we? Especially with a relationship in its early stages. You shopped, cooked, served… and what was your reward? Nasty jokes and mockery. I have no idea what the food you so lovingly prepared tasted like, but it sounds as if you at least vaguely knew what you were doing, and even if it wasn’t quite Michelin-star stuff, your girlfriend should have pretended it was. That’s how it’s supposed to work.
2020欧洲杯体育足彩外围appPerhaps her rudeness (“dog food” – good grief!) was due to misplaced competitiveness. Maybe she felt eclipsed by your cooking skills, and envious of them. That’s no excuse for her behaviour and she needs to grow up, fast – but I’d strongly suggest that’s not on your watch, Julian.
I honestly believe that one day you’ll look back on this and realise you had a narrow escape. But just in case I’m wrong – or perhaps to prove I’m right – sit down with her and gently ask why she was so unpleasant over dinner that night. Tell her how hurt you were, and why it’s made you reconsider your future together (so much so, you’ve even written to an agony uncle!)
2020欧洲杯体育足彩外围appIf – as I predict – her response is dismissive, even angry and disdainful, you’ll have all the information you need to make your decision. If someone can’t be kind to the person who’s just cooked them a Valentine’s Day dinner, worse things surely lie ahead. Much worse, probably. Sorry to be negative, Julian – but you did ask.